This idea came up during the recent Transformus festival, where someone said the True Mirror was giving them “identity clarity”. It made a lot of sense, we spent a long time discussing what it means, what it signifies when it is there, or not there.
The True Mirror providing identify clarity, giving you a chance to regularly see, get to know, and perhaps even become in sync with your public identity. Not just a singular experience, but one that integrates your state of being with what you are actually projecting, giving you a more perfect sense of who you really are.
Compare this to what you have had to deal with in a backwards mirror…every day, the relatively same, relatively expressionless, and always somewhat off personality of you. Every day since childhood, completely unchallenged, ubiquitous and solitary. This has messed with your self-identity, deeply and fundamentally. Every day you see and think you are someone different than what everyone else sees. Perhaps the mirror itself is the main, or even only, source of Identity Confusion?
Like most people, perhaps you have probably shifted most of your mirror communications into the subconscious, and don’t even pay attention, but even single eye glances can shift you from your natural self to your mirror self. I still can see it happen instantly in my own face, even though I know it’s not me, it still feels like me, a part of me. But that version of me really isn’t real. Over time, I have realized that it’s only when I make eye contact with myself in a mirror does that old version of me spring into existence. So in the pursuit of identity clarity, I only make eye contact in true mirrors.
It’s actually quite difficult for me not to make eye contact when I see a mirror, such as in the restroom. There feels like a need to just check in…but it’s a faulty check in! It will stop my flow, and push my mental processes towards rehashing old stories about me, my appearance and my issues.
So I don’t do it, and feel like I’m staying in my normal flow of being myself in the world. If I’m lucky enough to be around a true mirror, and feel that need to check in, I can actually sit with myself for a while before my face starts to communicate. Before that, it looks like I’m just calmly observing, similar to what I might do in a group. My face will reflect what I’m thinking about what I’m seeing, and sometimes it takes a while for an expression to show up. What’s cool is that it’s linked directly to the thought pattern I just was having, such as being happy about a recent event. “Oh yea, that was good!” kind of expression. That’s the kind of check in that I like – one that reflects and reaffirms what is actually going on.
Note that it’s a negative emotion and expression that surfaces, I can still deal with it as perhaps my best friend might if they saw me that way – with empathy and compassion for what’s going on, not criticism and judgement. I can work through my feelings in total, without the old me piping up with old stories.
It sounds so simple, but having your mind and reflected true image in sync is pretty powerful. Identity clarity can come from years of seeing and knowing yourself clearly and consistently in the True Mirror. Now, working with the world, I know what they are seeing and how to communicate with the most amazing communication device ever invented: my amazing human face!
John Walter
8/7/18
